Monday, March 26, 2007

From the Mailbag

Dear ____ Mountain,

I've missed you. Have you missed me?

I'm terribly sorry that I've ignored you for the last six months. I hope you didn't take too much offense. I admit that I was preoccupied with work and a little self-absorbed, but you were cold and didn't seem all that interested in a relationship.

Now that the nice weather is threatening to return, I'd like to come back to you if you'll let me. We can spend some quality time together every day. I can appreciate all the little changes you go through, and breathe your fresh air, and enjoy all your views, and listen to the sounds of all who call you home. In return, you will hopefully get the pounds I shed as I walk all over you.

Did you recognize me? I know I've gained a little weight over the winter months, but I'm still me. You, on the other hand, had a surprise for me today.
I'm happy you are making new friends, but don't change too much, OK?

Well, I hope you accept my apology and I look forward bonding with you again.

Signed,
Your Fair-Weather Friend

**********

Dear Debby's Legs:

What happened to you? When I last used you, you ran for five miles without much complaint. Now, today, all I asked for was a 30 minute hike and you barely made it. I realize it was a huge hill and that it's been six months since I've really used you, but still....... I'm very disappointed.

Shape up.

Signed,
Your tired and weary owner

*********

To the Readers of my Last Post:

I did buy my husband an anniversary present: a speed rope. I'm just romantic like that. Keep your husbands away from me, girls... I know how to spoil a man.

Signed,
Debby (the lame gift giver)

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Friday, March 16, 2007

I found him!



I've been looking for Waldo most of today, and I finally found him!

My son, Waldo, was supposed to fly home from college for spring break tonight. Since it's spring, we're in the middle of a snowstorm expected to dump up to 2 feet of snow on us.

The flight from school was fine, but then he'd be stuck in Detroit for a few days waiting for a flight to Antarctica New York. After three birthdays and several blue moons an hour or two on hold, we finally found Waldo. He was right where we left him -- at his grandparent's house-- where he'll stay until Sunday when hopefully he can get a flight to a not-so-close airport.


We are all now safe and warm and look forward to seeing Waldo on Sunday. Or after the end of this ice age. Whichever comes first.


I dare you to say global warming to me.

Haunted

A long time ago, we were young and poor. Our darling son was 2 years old. We moved to a very tiny apartment in New York. One set of grandparents donated a small, used television set and a used play-only VCR. The other set of grandparents donated a single new VCR tape:





To say that my son watched this tape a lot doesn't quite cover it. He watched it every day. Every single day. Many times every single day. Over and over and over and over and over. This was the only video tape in the house for over a year, and we had no television reception. It was Land Before Time or nothing. I always chose 'nothing', but the darling little boy ususally chose LBT. By late afternoon, either Littlefoot and his friends had to take a nap on top of the refrigerator out of the reach of toddler hands or mommy would institute the 'cocktail hour'. We chose naps for Littlefoot.

After a year or so, the local library started carrying VCR tapes and the last of my sanity was spared. But this movie had already done it's damage. I can still hear, "Petrie, do not feel sad. It is alright. Many things cannot fly. Rocks, trees, sticks, Spike... " (one of our cats is named Spike and he also cannot fly), "Mother present. Very important.", " I fly? No, you falled." and other inspiring dialogue.

There are now over 842 sequels to this great movie. Our home is a LBT-Free Zone and my children are forbidden from watching any of those movies where there is even a remote possibility of my hearing them. Since my kids are 16 and 20, it's not an undue burden on them. The rest of the world, however, refuses to cooperate.

I'm haunted by the Land Before Time. If I go to get my oil changed and there's a tv in the waiting room, there's a good chance the LBT is playing. Same with doctor's offices. Once, it was even playing in the quilt shop!!!! We walked into Best Buy one time and it was playing on every television in the store! Dear Lord, make it stop! I've seen LBT on the screen in the minivan next to me when I'm running errands. The Land Before Time is like dog poo --- it's EVERYWHERE!

This week, I was once again attacked by the Land Before Time. The only show I watch is American Idol. Ok, so we also get Australian Idol off the computer, but it's kinda the same thing. This week on American Idol was Diana Ross week. I was enjoying my weekly dose of mindless entertainment when BAM! Jordin sang If We Hold On Together, sung in the Land Before Time by Diana Ross. The horror!

The next night of American Idol was ruined for me when I realized I'd have to listen to Sanjaya sing again next week. But that's another post.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Public Service Announcement

If you haven't read The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory yet, run (don't walk) to your nearest library and mug whoever else is trying to check it out. Then clear your schedule for a day or two. If you have the opportunity to listen to the unabridged audio recording, that would be even better.

Today's post in which I pledge my undying love to Jennifer

Wednesday at 2:30 finally came. I had a wonderful visit with my most favoritest hairdresser ever. She is truly a magician. And she's really cute and really nice and I don't even hate her that much for being so skinny.

Anyway, I feel human again. She kinda noticed where I cut my bangs with some crayola scissors (like I don't sew for a living and have anything sharper than my kids' old kindergarten scissors). "They weren't that crooked," is the actual quote, I believe.

One to always keep my word, I have an appointment in 7 weeks.

I need to give a great big thank you to a lurker who arranged for a surprise for me with Miss Jennifer. Your gift was much appreciated, but the gift of your friendship is more than I ever knew to ask out of life. You mean the world to me and I am a much richer person for knowing you. When I grow up, I want to be like you -- wise and warm and wonderful.

And in case any readers think that I'm exaggerating about the wonderfulness that is Miss Jennifer, you should know that a church friend of mine had an appointment with her last week, my lurker friend had an appointment with her yesterday, my quilt friend had an appointment with her a few hours after mine, my daughter had an appointment with her today, and another church friend sees her as well. Miss Jennifer is 'da bomb' and many people have seen my haircut and become believers. If you are in the Hudson Valley and need a good hairdresser, I can hook you up.

For clarity -- Miss Jennifer does a great job so I don't have to. I wash my hair and spend about 3 minutes bonding with my blow dryer. Then I get to forget my hair until the next morning. One worry down, forty-six thousand to go. Do you think Jennifer can work her magic with my tax preparation? Or the raising of teenagers?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Bad Hair Days (aka Ode to Jennifer)

Four months is way too long to go without a haircut, especially when the hair in question has never even heard the word 'body'. Just sayin'.

Can I stay home until Wednesday at 2:30 when I have an appointment with my most favoritest hairdresser in the world?

I, Debby, do solemnly swear to make an appointment for my next haircut WHILE I'M IN THE SALON.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I wish you joy

This morning my alarm went off at 5:20 as usual. What wasn't usual is that I was really happy and peaceful as I reached to turn it off. I felt like I was waking up to the best, most-anticipated day ever. As I was laying there, just trying to put a name to it (could it be joy?), I found no reason for it. Seriously, in less than 2 minutes I realized that:

1. I'm getting sick with a clogged ear and very sore throat
2. I have way more stuff to accomplish today than time to accomplish it
3. The problems I had when I went to sleep didn't disappear over night and I was able to fully remember each one

But, in spite of all that, I was given a gift this morning. A sliver of joy. A glimpse of God.

I'm holding onto that for the day. Whatever comes my way today, I had one brief moment of joy. Sometimes, that can be enough.



Or I could have been in the middle of a really cool dream. The world (and I) may never know.