According to
the Social Security Administration, I can expect to live to be 84.6 years
old. Since I am over 40, my life is
about half over.
I started to
consider what I have done with my first 40 years and how I will spend those
remaining. I asked myself, “What is the
meaning of life anyway?”
I am an avid
reader and believe that great truths can be found in great works of
fiction. I started my search for the
meaning of life by reading some great novels.
I read my way through the works of Jane Austen and Tolkien. I found romance and adventure and ‘the
triumph of good over evil,’ but not the meaning of life. I hoped to find the answer when I read the
Twilight series, but no. The Hunger
Games series disappointed as well. I finally
found my answer in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. According to Douglas Adams, the meaning of
life is “42.” I was relieved, but this
answer did not fulfill me.
As a modern
woman, I decided to use technology in my quest for the meaning of life. I grabbed my smart phone. “Siri, what is the meaning of life?” She answered, “All evidence to date points to
chocolate.” Chocolate? Chocolate!
Something within me resonated with this and I was certain that Siri was
pointing me in the right direction.
As wonderful
as that answer is, “chocolate” is still a little broad. What form of chocolate, specifically? Chocolate candy? Chocolate bars? Chocolate cake? Cookies?
Pie? Chocolate brownies? Chocolate ice cream?
For help in
narrowing this down, I turned away from fiction and started to read
histories. Marie-Antoinette, wife of
King Louis XVI of France, has been credited with dismissing the peasants’ lack
of bread with a callous, “Let them eat cake.”
Many historians have discredited this popular myth. They suggest that Marie-Therese, wife of King
Louis XIV might have actually said this, several decades earlier.
Between Siri
and Marie-Therese, my search for the meaning of life has been narrowed down to
Chocolate + Cake.
This is
small enough to be manageable yet large enough to bring hope. My research into how chocolate cake can bring
meaning to life began. I travel around
the world for a living and have eaten chocolate cake on three continents thus
far. When a server in a restaurant asks,
“What will you have for dessert?” I answer, “Chocolate cake.” You would be surprised at the variety of
dishes this answer brings to my table.
I have received
flourless chocolate cake. This dense
chocolate dessert is rich and thick. It
is full of flavor but has not satisfied me.
I have eaten
chocolate brownie cake. This is served
with ice cream (and I do not like ice cream) so that’s one point against. It typically contains nuts (also not my
favorite) so that’s another point against.
Chocolate brownies are good in theory, but lose something in reality.
I have tasted
chocolate cheesecake. Whether New York
style or Italian, cheesecake does not serve up enough inspiration to carry me
through the next 40 years.
I enjoyed
chocolate pudding cake. It is warm and
comforting and wonderful, but somehow falls short of the meaning of life.
I attempted
Red Velvet cake. No. Just no.
Most often I
receive chocolate lava cake. This is
usually served with ice cream (enough with the ice cream already!). It is served
warm and chocolate goo springs from the center.
Interesting concept, but it did not bring meaning to my life.
My search
for the meaning of life in chocolate cake stagnated.
I had to
look for other sources of inspiration. I
considered my would-be paramour: a giant
green ogre named Shrek. He has many wise
words, but none apply to chocolate cake bringing meaning to life. His sidekick Donkey put everything into place
for me when he said, “Everybody loves cake!
Cakes have layers.”
Layers! Layers were missing from the unsatisfying
chocolate cakes I had eaten.
After this
epiphany, I quizzed the restaurant wait staff about their cake. “Can I tell you about tonight’s specials?”
they would ask. “I would rather hear about
your chocolate cake,” I would answer. If
they said “flourless” or “lava,” I knew their cake would not bring meaning to
my life. If I they said “layers” or “frosting,”
I was willing to sample their cake, hoping it would bring enlightenment.
If you plan
to join me on this quest to find the meaning of life in chocolate cake, avoid
Applebee’s, Chili’s, Ruby Tuesday, and TGI Friday’s. They have no cake. Olive Garden has a chocolate cake, but it is
not served in all locations. Ask about
the cake before ordering your dinner. If
that location has cake, just order salad for your diner. If it does not have cake, order a full meal;
there is no need to save room for dessert.
Choose
instead to visit:
Red Lobster. Their Chocolate Wave is served with ice
cream, so remember to ask them to throw that part away.
Charlie
Brown’s. Their slice of chocolate cake
is larger than a human head.
Cheesecake
Factory. They have two chocolate cakes
and I make them show me a slice of each to be certain I am getting the right
one.
Bertucci’s. Best.
Chocolate. Cake. Ever.
Denny’s. (but only if you are desperate)
You can continue
this search at home. I started with King
Arthur’s Flour website. I made rich
chocolate cakes, vegan chocolate cakes, gluten-free chocolate cakes, and ended up
with Betty Crocker. It’s pretty good!
On my
deathbed, I will be able to sum up the meaning of life in one succinct statement
that future generations will plaster on their car bumpers.
Until that
day, I will agree with Audrey Hepburn who said, “Let’s face it, a nice creamy
chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does it for me.”
